The willy nilly of Deep Thought
Deep Thought. Scholarship. Intense concentration. Mired thinking. Raging brain signals, fired chemicals, snow stormed receptors and peas of risible firing neurons interrupting the deeper ones. Meditating on the absurdity of short termism, living like a fly but truly thriving in long termism. Looking for goals and motivations to drive the inner engine of thought, looking at inspiration to fondle your inner workings and sense of agency.
What is agency? The intrinsic driver of all motivation, the thinking of being the central figure in this narrative where solispsistic drivers are quandrying in the cotton candy and muddened lesion of a maze of a brain, convulated like an entry that is so hopeless and dulled by the musings and influence of those around you. What is life? what is the purpose of finding flow in a world where all flow is nothing but a provision of a sense of falsifiable four walls that can be crumbled with the detonator of poverty, disease, suffering, sickness of human character, but scholarship of the accutest kind that can form given neuronal changes?
What do you do when you see a piece of information that is true to all your sense of acquiring knowledge in this world, like MCH hormones that regulate self control, aggression, pigs in mention and mood? Knowing that the feelings and thoughts and realisations that you are having are nothing but chemical arrangements of a chance happening of coition of two strangers and no consent on you part to be alive? Why do we call consent when the person who will actually come to be, is not consulted to be alive?
Why impose injustice and optimism or not in the brain growth areas of suffering when they are and when they are actually not? Why are we consuming more than producing that will leave us in no more happiness than the happiness of knowing that there is probably no answer to unhinged, uncut, unmanicured, uncivilised, unruly, fresh, untampered, unblocked, unrequited and unthoughtful thought?
Why is there a need for structure, for conformity with the values and norms of social interpretation of language, why is there a need to write using a language to communicate anything? I think in retrospect all attempts to criticise current states of societal convention are an unseasoned, ungrateful, unthoughtful act because they do not account for the fact that you are because of that. We are never a lone island, and any attempt to criticise, look down upon, make judgements about people/opinion and ideas is in fact a childish way to live life knowing that there are so many things about you that are probably worthy of criticism too… however the observer bias, or the electrode effect (a phenomenon where measuring something leads to the changing of it) prevents such happening.
Also a parallel strand of thought: agents of a body finding it hard to work in the body because of willy nilly of studying and dedication to the impacts of work and scholarship. Not understanding the full nature of the workings of the body, so the cells going rogue and not understanding ways to make that productive… so turning cancerous. That is what i think criticism of society is. However I do think its a Kaizen process. Or so I hope. I hope. Hope.
